Hooray for Boobies!

I was woken up around 11 in the morning on day two. Breakfast consisted of three bananas – most of the other breakfast stations were closing, so there was only one left and there was a huge line. Blah, bananas are good for you. Hung out and played big 2 with the family again, my mom’s friend is starting to get a little better, but is still very slow at the damn game. She’s starting to pick up on the subtle strategies involved. One rolls around fairly quickly so we head in and have lunch. Hooray, more rabbit food for me. I did indulge in a few egg rolls, they had the Thai sweet and spicy chili sauce, so I just couldn’t help myself. I had planned on hitting the gym today as it was closed when I tried to hit it last night, I missed going again today.

I wandered around a little bit, my legs are sore as all hell, as I haven’t really exercised in almost 10 years. Feels good tho, at least I know I can still run fairly decently. There was an “adult guitar hero” session that I ended up going to. The foreigner running the event had no idea how to unlock the songs, so the first two people got to choose between the first 5 songs, lucky them. I then went up and unlocked the rest of the songs and the proceeded to get my ass kicked by some chick that is definitely a friend of Dorothy. Oh well, I make for a better drummer anyways, damn them for not having rockband.

The family and I then ended up sitting around snacking and playing more big 2, until it was time to go “dress up” for dinner. You see, every cruise ship has their “formal” night, and folks are requested to dress up for a nice dinner. We’re talking evening gowns, jacket and ties, etc. So because the maternal unit wanted to participate we all got dressed up in our monkey suits and like cattle, herded into the dining room. Now there are several folks with tuxedos, you f-ing kidding me. Now of these, I wonder how many rented theirs from the ship and then how many brought their own. I mean, really? People make it a habit to bring a Tux on a cruise, a Carnival Cruise of all things? And it’s used for only one night. Dinner was decent, but there I did see a douchbag in there with a t-shirt and jeans. I understand the request for formal wear, and for folks that don’t want to dress up, or don’t have the close, really, just go eat at one of the other restaurants or the buffet, they would fit in much better there anyways. The dinner staff sang O Sole Mio to us after dinner, which was sorta interesting. I took a little video that I will post along with pictures when I get around to getting them off my computer and properly formatting them and uploading them.

Once dinner was done, the four of us high tailed it back to our rooms to change out of our formal attire. The three went to the nightly “production” show, and I went to the top deck to walk off my dinner. I walked about 5 laps around the deck which I’m guessing is about 2 miles, then I ran for another 5 laps. My legs were still sore from the previous night so it took a little while before they would warm up. After the first lap, I could feel my right hamstring itching to cramp so I stopped and stretched it out a little – that seemed to do the trick as that sensation never returned and I finished the two miles. Hopefully, I’ll up the distance tomorrow. After a couple of cool down laps, I headed down to the theater to catch the end of the show, just dancing and singing – very wanna be Broadway like stuff.

I went down one level to catch the “adult” comedy show by Paul Lyons (I heard the name wrong). The jokes were a little lame, a few were decent, a good number I had already heard from one place or another. He did manage to entertain the four manatees that were sitting in front of me. Holy hell, they loved him, the cackling sea cows would probably smother the poor bastard if he go near them. One of the orcas was actually in a little motorized scooter, she lifted her arm to reposition it and I am utterly amazed and disgusted at the amount of skin and fat on this woman – it was at least a foot in diameter. I wonder how she scrubs between the folds of her skin; I almost puke at the thought of the lovely smells coming from said elephant folds. Cool thing at the comedy show was that the Jew, Josh and the other couple I met the previous night showed up and sat with me. The Jew was amazed at Shamu on the scooter too.

Paul Lyons did a set that was less than half an hour. WTF. Well, then again, I don’t think I would have lasted a set that was any longer. I so wanted to heckle the guy, but the fatty fat fats in front of me would have been angered and the thought of being sat on really scared me.

I went to wandered around some more and took a few pictures of the moon over the dark horizon. I’m able to take a few good shots, and I think I’m happy with what this little camera can do. I hit up the grill area; wow, it is about 1 AM in the morning and there are nothing but fat people with plates of pasta, burgers, etc – I grab a banana and some water. Wandering around after finishing my little snack, I bump into Anne Frank and Josh at the casino, the other couple is sitting at the blackjack table. I say hi and sorta join them. I forget the girls name but she’s a model, and damn good looking. She was still wearing her evening gown, and ah, god love bra less gowns that just expose everything to the world. Why yes my dear, you do have lovely breasts. She was obviously aware of the gown’s short comings so she kept fixing herself and holding the thing in place, but with a cigarette in one hand and trying to play blackjack, the odds were just in my favor for a free peep show. Sad to say, but that was probably the highlight of the evening.

Every time I sit down anywhere on the public areas of the ship, the music playing is always a romantic sappy crap song from the 70’s and 80’s. How the fuck old am I and why the fuck do I know all the bloody lyrics to these stupid songs. I have been refraining from hitting the karaoke bar to truly test my vocal stylings and maybe bag a cougar…. Being single can have it’s benefits, but not on this geriatric love boat. Holy hell my legs are sore… More tomorrow.